Last weekend was the Oscars. Most of the time, people are really scoping out what people are wearing to the actual ceremony and after parties. Apparently, Megan Thee Stallion and Zoe Kravitz wore something so revealing that Sherri Shepherd had to voice her opinion on it. To sum up what she said, she feels that what they wore was a lot of nothing and that little girls are looking up to them therefore, they should cover themselves up. She also implied that women are harmed because of what they are wearing. Essentially, victim blaming.

These are typical sentiments of people who are religious. Thankfully, I am not. I really need us to let go of the respectability politics

and let people live. First, Megan and Zoe are both grown adults. Nothing in their line of work, especially Megan’s, says they are here to entertain children. She isn’t on Nick Jr. rapping with her ass out. When I see Megan and what she does, her songs, etc. It screams at me ADULTS. Why is that hard to understand? I feel as if a lot of parents always need someone or something to blame when their children do not do what they want or train them to do. Suddenly, it’s the rapper’s fault. It’s a fault of video games. No! Maybe it’s your fault. How about that?! You’re your children’s first role model and if they don’t see you as one, maybe you need to reevaluate why that is. Of course, you can’t protect your children or shun them away from everything, but you, as a parent, play a huge role in their development and what they consume, mentally, physically, emotionally and yes, even visually.

On top of that, stop trying to tell everyone else what and how to dress. A lot of holier than thou folks always need to police what everyone else is wearing. If they don’t like something, or sometimes if they don’t have the body to wear something, they have the urge to tell others they should not either. That’s not your place. These people are, once again, adults that make their own decisions. How about you stick to that advice? You made a decision on how you’d like to present yourself, let them do the same. This also goes to the Black people who think that we should start dressing like the 1960s and older again because it was more “modest” and more respected. FYI, we had the dogs sicked on us in church clothes. How about you dress that way and leave others be? Cool?!

Last, I feel like a lot of this vitriol is spewed more towards women than men. An act of trying to control women and their bodies. Which is why we are partially in the current mess we call an administration. We only have the current life we’re living, and everyone should be able to live comfortably the life they want to live without someone else telling them how to live it.

Before I close out, I want to add something very personal. Someone I know personally was assaulted in her home as a teenager. Her neighbor broke in and sexually assaulted her. Let me repeat, SHE WAS AT HOME. What someone wears is not an indication that they deserve to be assaulted. People, but especially women, are assaulted wearing work uniforms. There’s a whole museum showing outfits of what people were wearing when they were sexually assaulted. It’s sick and sad to think that what someone wears will either keep them safe or put them in danger. It’s not the victim’s fault. It’s the predators. We need to do better.